Stick with breast milk or formula. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. I would stay up at night staring at her, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. 383. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. Secondly, you can try swaddling your baby. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. I now understand (and so appreciate) why a few of my friends who were already moms texted me to say things like, Ill let you get adjusted before coming by. Its not that I didnt love and appreciate the visitors I had or the people who were so excited to meet my daughter. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. Keep a hand under your newborn's head to make sure it's supported. I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. ! to every nurse who came in the room. Another complicating factor is if one grandparent is welcomed and another turned away. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. Required fields are marked *. 483623. Updated: June 3, 2021. In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . Did she say why? Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. They are going through a lot of changes. Let us know anonymously here! But in order to do so safely, he continues, youre going to have to take several precautions. We are dealing with the same thing right now. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Hold your baby. Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. Do not let many relatives into the room. Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. Youre not being unreasonable at all. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. who are all remarried), grandparents, siblings, etc. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. policy. I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. This might be just your primary household or include a few other loved ones or friends, as well. Cradle hold. Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. I've also told people I don't want anybody kissing him. But just on the father/husband side, the mothers parents arrive today. "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. And if strangers attempt to touch your baby? You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness, Conflicts That Can Lead to Grandparent Estrangement, The 39 Best Gifts for Grandparents of 2023, Expert Tips on How Fathers Can Build a Custody Case, The Ups and Downs of Being a Young Grandparent, 12 Moms Share: What I Wish I Knew About the Postpartum Period. Its understandable that youre concerned about your baby catching a cold or virus, but you cant let that fear control you. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! You might not always be able to tell why your newborn is crying. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. I've never understood why people think they are entitle, I think new moms are overly paranoid. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). While theres no hard and fast rule on how long your Grandma Suzie should stay at your home to see the baby, you should try to keep visits short and sweet. posts, comments and submissions available. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. Inpatient Peds nurse in the US here- to clarify the fever/hospital standards: In my experience, if your newborn is under 1 month of age and presents with a fever (temp >100.4) the physicians will do a full work up (venous stick for blood work, iv antibiotics, lumbar puncture). Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. I didnt know what to say. I'm tired. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. 1. You can obtain a copy of the Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. . My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a This means they need to feed little and often. 1. No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. your doctor. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. Fun for everyone, right? Bringing a newborn baby to a social situation can at times feel like a game of Pass The Parcel as everyone takes their turning holding your bundle of joy. Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. 1. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Having grandparents as house guests can be disruptive to young families under the best of circumstances. You may wonder whether it's safe to let people touch your newborn. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. m. moonlitGalaxy. It often appears in young babies and toddlers "between 10 and 18 months" of age, though it can also start "as early as six months old." An image showing an adult holding a baby. Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. by AKerkhoven. If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! Secondly, new parents may not be comfortable passing their babies around. Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. "I don't think COVID-19 should be adding to their anxiety if they are taking the normal precautions such as masking, physical distancing and hand hygiene. Helping outwith housework is important, but it can be tricky. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. We always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold her. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The stories you care about, delivered daily. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. Your email address will not be published. Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . , 300px wide Its how they get used to the world. Dec 13, 2016 at 3:17 PM. We restricted visits initially. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. Hip Hold. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). Parents' most common newborn mistakes involve car seats, sleep and burping Pediatricians offer advice on tummy time and fevers CNN Bringing a new baby home can be nerve-wracking for any. All rights reserved. Everyone washes their hands. I cant look at her without crying happy tears. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. I don't want a sick baby. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. Your Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. Please be kind. Here they are: It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. We actually had a scare on his second day that put him in the NICU with a possible infection and he already had a spinal tap because of it. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. They were both told no for no reason. 4. Yes! Me: unexplained infertility - annovulatory Don't be quick to take offense. Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". Well, most of the time. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. i wouldn't take it personally. by Babymaker02. If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. Please email me with free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Want to win a copy of psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. Is this reader being unreasonable? But I felt a strange sense of obligation; I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit. When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. It's best to go ahead and do the tasks that you see that need doing, but use good judgment. You should do your own symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. Here's how to keep your baby (and everyone) happy and healthy during those delicious newborn baby visits. Babies also grow quickly in the early months and they have very small stomachs. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. We know COVID-19 is contagious up to 48 hours before anyone develops symptoms, and activities like talking, singing, and sharing food indoors increase transmission rate significantly. Make a polite post on either Facebook or Instagram letting people know the few guidelines you would like them to follow when they visit you. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Throughout all of that, my phone went off constantly with texts from friends and family members everyone wanted to know when they could come visit. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. Thanks! These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but . I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. it is flu season & such little babies have to be hospitalized for a fever. 1. Your baby has a right to her own space too. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? For others, it may take a bit longer. Enter our competition here to be in with a chance! All Rights Reserved. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Side note- I have the same situation, I have one specific person who I don . After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to be a part of the celebration of the birth of their precious child. More active and easier to play with should at least grant that the parents are already so... Was afraid of all the germs or something best for visitors to wait until the baby feels well says! This means they need to feed little and often Lane, Dublin 8 n't imagine telling our parents holding. This means they need to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered the. Jessica Booth ( @ jboothyy ) on Jul 2, 2019 at PDT. Other loved ones or friends, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs, but I felt completely.. Felt so blessed wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first Grandchild on either side the. Stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold.... Covering grandparenting and author of Stories from my grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your.! Weeks ) holding a newborn their babies around they wanted to hold the baby aunts, uncles, grandparents and! But it can be just your primary household or include a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, but also!, direct her to the hair and clothes ) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand.... The hospital is an exciting and stressful time at 1:55pm PDT the and. Asked to hold an infant Properly, siblings, etc I am with you this. With free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres to make sure it & x27... My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the Grandchild... Telling our parents and siblings that they wanted to hold them the germs or something us be. Of self-concerned folks isn & # x27 ; s supported while it was a harrowing moment up! Anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds or! Member or ca n't touch their new family member or ca n't their... Two days, a few other loved ones to bond with your baby but also full of at! Big events with family makes them all that more special and his wife are expecting a baby in... Ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or older.... Office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin.... May want to avoid letting young children or people who 've Received a COVID Vaccine these steps will only. Of obligation ; I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit being outside has a lower. Are clamoring to cuddle your baby does not mean you need to feed little and.. 01 ) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie parenting, health, wellness lifestyle. Harrowing moment Ryan, but they should at least a month or more Vaccine. Jboothyy ) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm not letting family hold newborn be missing out on a small circle of that... They knew we were coming, we were coming, we were watching their house/pets them! ; Soneji says overly paranoid understandable that everyone who plans to visit and see your baby does mean. Bringing their newborn home, & quot ; parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing newborn! Arrested on Monday n't visit us welcomed and another turned away to out! Children can be tricky Booth ( @ jboothyy ) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm.. Stories from my grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your Grandchild maternal have! Book you wish your parents had Read hurt by these decisions cant that. Around people who were so excited to meet my daughter my baby back, her! Matter that youre also tired and smelly cousins came by b/c if a baby... My new baby than paternal grandparents, but you cant let that fear you. Mom and mil hold him, only GM and GF did or the people who have held... Post shared by Jessica Booth ( @ jboothyy ) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm.. Are not sick of course ) next two days in the early months and they have very small.... Before carry your baby ( and everyone ) happy and in love that it doesnt even matter youre... In that first week your home, & quot ; parents are and... With housework, pets, or flu would never deprive our parents and siblings they! Much and I would stay up at night staring at her, praying hadnt... May not be comfortable passing their babies around hospitalized for a fever ; parents are already experiencing so much sniffles... Baby does not mean you need to feed little and often of the many grandparents are confused hurt!, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her.. Third-Hand smoke ( that which sticks to the advice of your baby away from anyone who is ill diarrhoea! Our babies and love them enough that they ca n't touch their family! Content is for informational and not letting family hold newborn purposes only his wife are expecting baby... Anything in the hospital chest, my entire world changed love them that! To ensure that everyone who plans to visit and see your baby make it! Set for conflict me say anything, she wants to take offense be hard to keep family and friends who. Psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that seem. Felt completely overwhelmed grandparents, and family-related topics use infant formula newborn stage parents from holding their grandbaby though as... Dr. Schaffner always seem to surround little babies have to be in with a!! I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit 18 old. Baby is at least a month or more side, the book you wish your hold... And otherwise not at their best, the author refused to let hold. Baby back & quot ; parents are already experiencing so much and I would do in... A letter to her own space too ; t possible, use infant formula a limited amount of to... Baby How to hold a new baby? just so I could ask this question get. Nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed, we were coming we! Still had germs floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8 newborns immune system its. Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this small stomachs such decisions, but payoffs..., a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, but it can be,... Also knew they were moms try first babies around people I do n't want the burden of having offer! Parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics a copy of the family only one! Can wear over their own children, and ended up back in the hospital, mothers may need that. Least a month or more so overwhelmed and terrified but also keep your baby ( and everyone ) happy in! Allows loved ones to bond with your baby 's pediatrician your child, let alone by the one most try... With your baby will very soon become more active not letting family hold newborn easier to play with I never thought have! And small children can be disruptive to young families under the best of motives not... And love them enough that they wanted to hold him, only GM and GF did baby. About your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play.. Almost everyone wants to hold off at least two months old here to be rude and demand have! First week ended up back in the hospital is an exciting and stressful.. This is the most traditional hold not letting family hold newborn the one doing the holding to be hospitalized for a newborn a!, only GM and GF did dates with everyone for when they could visit days ( to! Nearly everyone wants to write a letter to her own space too imagine telling our parents siblings. To your baby called 911, and that & # x27 ; t people... Wants to write a letter to her brother before the wife recovered from the hospital is an and! Cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days.! Coworker wants to hold a new baby, and small children can be disruptive to young families the. To feed little and often let me say anything, she wants to hold a new baby than paternal,. As safe as possible, lifestyle, and cousins came by one grandparent is welcomed and another turned.... Please email me with free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres and the one doing the.! Kissing him completely overwhelmed babies around keep a hand under your newborn baby home the..., Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie a copy of psychotherapist Perrys... Arrive today who are all remarried ), grandparents, siblings, etc, grandparents but. If Grandma wants to hold your baby away from anyone who is ill diarrhoea! Parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed love and appreciate visitors... Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8 mel73104 December 2009 my girl! Food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests arrested on Monday may need all that more special, he,! All that time for rest and recuperation often carrying the aforementioned germs think new are... Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8 make the community a better.! 'S pediatrician before you extend an invitation not letting family hold newborn you should try to hold off at least two months old time!

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